She said, what's the need to tell

all this truth? what's so great

about saying things you don't want to say

and the other person doesn't want to hear?

I didn't say anything. I thought she was silly.

I cannot find the word to explain, now. I have searched,

and I have searched. I have asked the people that I dared to ask,

held up a sign on the side of a street, rummaged

through everything and nothing, filled out empty supplications.

I cannot see it simply myself, as I used to do—a lesson

mnemonised, memorised and left behind. Trying to understand

is followed by failing, and sometimes there is the will to try again,

and sometimes not.